It seems I am still on my give the Pope a break kick. According to a sede-vacantist site on the internet, which will remain nameless to protect the innocent from looking them up out of curiosity, Pope Francis is a tango loving, 60’s hippie liberal and that is one of the reasons that he can’t be a legitimate pope. Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me.
Seems that in by gone days young Jorge loved the night life (I got to boogie), had a girlfriend and was a bouncer in a bar. Misspent youth? Heavens, who knows. But even if that were so he can sit next to me on that bus, along with St. Augustine whose mother used to stand praying outside of his keggers. But Jorge is all grown up now, he’s the Pope and he still loves the tango, says it’s a part of him. Wasn’t the tango condemned by the Catholic Church in 1907? Isn’t that really, really, really bad? Omg. He’s from Argentina! The tango dance and tango music are part of the cultural art. All I can say is that I would like to thank Pope Francis for allowing all of us tango lovers to come out from under our rocks. I am in agreement with those who feel that if Pope Francis were to be on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ they should pair him up with Cheryl Burke. The mirror ball would so be theirs. The only problem is that if he did win, he would probably be accused of calling in supernatural favors from the big guy, there would be a cheating scandal and he might get stripped of his title…the mirror ball that is, not the papacy. That could get ugly.
Speaking of being a liberal. Seems that in the 2005 conclave in which Jorge Mario Bergoglio
was runner up, the liberals didn’t want him. He was reportedly the victim of a smear campaign by liberal Jesuits. Their main platform consisted of the fact that Jorge never smiled. Cardinal ‘Smiling Joe’ Ratzinger edged him out to become Pope Benedict the XVI. By the way, Pope Benedict had an uncanny resemblance to Emperor Palpatine of Star Wars which was indicative of his aspirations towards world domination and he liked to shake hands like a mason. Which is why he isn't a legitimate pope either.
As far as being a hippie…I haven’t seen any love beads, mood rings, wire-rimmed sunglasses, tie dyed shirts, or flowers in his hair. He can borrow some of my stuff if he wants, I’m not sure the bell-bottoms would fit him though. You wouldn’t be able to see them under the cassock anyway.
Pope bashing scandal-mongering ain’t no new thing. I can just imagine the current media in the time of Jesus and the Apostles. Especially with Peter‘s propensity to plant his foot firmly in his mouth. “Pope-elect Peter denies doctrine of the necessity of Christ’s Death”, “Founder of new Church, Jesus Christ, announces newly elected Pope Peter is Satan himself”, “Pope Peter former Christ denier”, “Pope Peter balks at foot washing ceremony“, “Pope Peter and Cardinal Paul, formally Saul of Tarsus deadlocked in church splitting cage-match over circumcision” News at 11. It is a good thing they didn’t have the internet, either, where every Tom, Dick and Harry-doesn’t-like-the-Church-since-Vatican II can put up an “official” website.
Modernism, liberalism, progressivism, conservativism, traditionalism, secularism, relativism, indifferentism aren’t new either. Pope Pius X may have given modernism a definition, but I’m betting it was invented way before that. Ain’t no ‘ism’ like the ones we’ve got. Not so. They have been around in one form or another since the beginning. The Church has been duking it out internally and externally for its entire history. Still we managed to survive for 2000 years. Through it all have been the Popes taking care of business every day, taking care of business every way, and working overtime as the men with their hand on the tiller steering the Church. What keeps us blindly following pope lovers blindly following and loving the Pope is that we know that the wind in the sails of the Church is the Holy Spirit.
The Pope doesn’t seem to mind the criticism. He thinks it is important to be criticized. In a recent phone call to a traditionalist writer he said that he understood the writer was criticizing out of love for the Church. How about that Pope Francis, just calling people up like that and being kind and all.
I’m just saying that as the man with his hand in the hand of the man from Galilee, all we’re asking for is a little respect (just a little bit). R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Take care, TCB. He tells us he is a son of the Church. Maybe we could give him the benefit of the doubt on that. Or at least the benefit of the Holy Spirit.
By the way, if you were counting I think I referenced six different songs. If you WERE counting high five, pound it, peace sign and power to the people fist to one of my peeps.